You’re So Old Jokes part 1
So you need some material for a birthday party or an office your so old joke roast. Well here are some “you’re so old jokes” to get you started! Here are some more when your done. Your so old, your not reading this your watching murder she wrote. You’re so old this is still called a blog. Your so old, you probably forgot the last joke you just read. Get it, because your so old. I know all of you are funnier, cause I’m so old. So use the comment section below and show the world your skills.
Your so old your first car was a covered wagon. Your so old George Washington cut down your Christmas tree.
You’re so old, you have hieroglyphics on your driver’s license. Your so old , the first airport was the wright brothers.
You’re so old, the key on Ben Franklin’s kite was to your apartment. Your so old, your family tree starts with you.
You’re so old, you walked into an antique store and they kept you. Your so old you bought your first car from Fred Flintstones.
You’re so old, when you were young, rainbows were black and white. Your so old, your watch was a sun dial.
You’re so old, you have an autographed Bible. Your so old , there’s fossils at your wedding anniversary.
You’re so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake. You’re so old, you burp dust.
You’re so old, when you were born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick. You’re so old your phone number is 7.
You’re so old, your social security number is 1. Your momma so old, her zip code is 00001
You’re so old, you birth certificate says “Expired” on it.
You’re so old, you owe Fred Flintstone a food stamp. Your so old, you lived on Asgard. Thor joke
You’re so old, you knew Burger King when he was just a prince.
You’re so old, the movie “Jurassic Park” brought back memories.
You’re so old, you have a picture of Moses in your yearbook.
You’re so old, when Moses split the Red Sea, you were on the other side fishing. Yelling, hey were fishing over here.
You’re so old, you DJ’d at the Boston Tea Party. Your so old that your first job was to help invent fire.
You’re so old, you went to an antique auction and three people bid on you.
You’re so old, if you were a car it would be time to roll back your odometer.
You’re so old, I asked to see your birth certificate, and you handed me a rock.
You’re so old, you went to school before they had a history class.
You’re so old, when you read the bible, you reminisce about the good ole days.
You’re so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
You’re so old, your blood type was discontinued.
You know that you’re old when your wife says, “Lets go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!”
You know that you’re old when friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes when you’re barefoot.
At your age, the porn you bring home is “Debby Does Dialysis”.
Damn your so old, I’ve seen stale raisins with less wrinkles.
At your age, you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
Your mom is so old, at her age flowers scare her.
At your age, “Getting a little action” means you don’t need to take any fiber today.
At your age, “Getting lucky” means you find your car at the grocery store.
You’re so old, an “all-nighter” means not getting up to pee.
Your so old you don’t know the recipe for ice. Burn!!!
Your so old your first cell phone was a walkie talkie.
You’re so old –
Your first Christmas WAS the first Christmas!
Your birth stone is lava!
Your birth certificate is a scroll!
You’ve used Preparation A thru G!
Your so old you still drive a stage coach to work. Your so old you where at Jesus’s wedding. Your so old Your dishwasher was a pet dinosaur.
You’re brother so old I told him to act his age and he traded his car for a wheel chair.
Your so old you got your mail with a carrier pigeon.
Your so old that the reason you switched from the republican party to a democrat was because you were against slavery
Well I hope you enjoyed these “you’re so old jokes.” Looking forward to reading some of your jokes in the comment section below. If you would like to read part 2 of you’re so old jokes follow this link!
You’re so old, your first pet was a velociraptor!!
Embarrassing that 99% of posters don’t know the difference between your/you’re.
The Republicans ended slavery. The Democrats were the party of the KKK.
True
The liberal northern Republicans ended slavery. The conservative southern Democrats started the KKK.
Yet the sides switched teams after Jim Crowe. The racists are Republicans!
WRONG once again but good try!
Your democrat mom is so fat I have to roll over twice to get off her.
i seen someone used the so old jokes from two and half men so old birth stone is lava or you called your first husband hun because he was one
I’m so old to get a drivers license all I had to remember was “Giddy up and whoa”
You’re so old the Hindenburg Disaster almost spoiled your birthday party
Eric you forgot the “you’re so old” part… wait does your last name start with t? Never mind, good job Eric you got most of the words right!
Your so old, you think the world is still flat.
It’s not 1492 dude, you flat earther….
Your so old, a dirt nap just meant taking a nap in the dirt before you went home to the wife in the cave.
“Your so old that the reason you switched from the republican party to a democrat was because you were against slavery”
It was the Republicans who were against slavery; Abe Lincoln was a Republican. Duh.
Even today the Democrats are still pushing racist policies!
Proof the dems practice of doing something and accusing the republicans works on some people.
It should just say the liberals free the slaves and the conservatives started the KKK. That would cut down on the confusion.
It should just say your democrat mom is so fat and ugly she made your dad gay.
You’re so old, not your so old!
I’m so old that I use that word correctly.
There isn’t any confusion. The Republican Party was started as The Abolitionist Party. That’s just a fact.
You’re so old you fart dust!
Your so old, you remember traveling across country. Riding shotgun in a covered wagon….. hahah. Your old
Your so old, at Halloween the kids call you leather face.
True! Also Jesus never married.
Mary of Magdala would disagree
Your So Old, snap,snap,clap, wink. Get it. No words invented just hands signs.
You’re so old, you can’t read. What a computer sonny?
Your so old, your mothers a mummy.
Your so old, your doctor. Is still your barber. Nothing like a trim on top, shampoo, and some penicillin.
Your so old, you were at the birth of Jesus Christ. 0001 B.C.
Your so old, you still collect royalty checks from the first color movie on beta max.
That’s not that old. I AM literally that old 😀
Your so old you have grape juice that’s turned to wine in your fridge.
Actually Abe Lincoln and the Republican Party wee the ones who abolished slavery. It was the democrats who for in favor of it. Joke wasn’t really even funny
Appreciate the feedback
Yep, when the northern liberals used to call themselves Republicans.
Good one checking out powerhouse productions LLC
You’re so old your tits are full of powdered milk… 😉
Your so old you don’t buy green bananas
Your so old you still have bunny ears on your black and white tv.
Your so old they feature you on ancient aliens on the history channel. Haha
Your so old, you DJ’d the last supper with Jesus and the disciples.
Good one. God Bless
You’re so old , you didn’t recognize Ryan Seacrest 2022 New Year’s Eve because he looked like Weekend at Bernie’s. Damn I miss Dick Clark
Your so old, you sold hotdogs at the 1st World Series.
Your so old… Your brother invented the wheel.
Actually, it was the democrats that favoured slavery and republicans that opposed it.
true but the parties flipped since then
no, they haven’t
Lincoln was a Republican doofus
Really Steve then why do y’all hate black people so much ?
No, socialism is slavery, the democrats have not changed.
You are a fucking idiot!
But where’s the punchline farticus?
Your so old that Galileo sat on your lap and learned.
Your so old that historians went to you to find advice.
Your so old your zip code is 00001
You’re so old, your high school picture is chiseled on a cave wall
Your so old you don’t know the recipe for ice. Burn!!!
Your so old your first cell phone was a wallow talkie
your so old your first car was a covered wagon your so old george washington cut down your tree
You’re so old –
Your first Christmas WAS the first Christmas!
Your birth stone is lava!
Your birth certificate is a scroll!
You’ve used Preparation A thru G!
Your so old, your still trying to fit a phone I. Your typewriter to write comments. You old bastard.
Your so old you still drive a stage coach to work.
Your so old you where at Jesus’s wedding.
very funny…good jokes!!
Your so old Your dishwasher was a pet dinosaur.
You’re brother so old I told him to act his age and he traded his car for a wheel chair
Your so old you got your mail with a carrier pigeon
Your so old that the reason you switched from the republican party to a democrat was because you were against slavery
Lincoln was a Republican doofus
Your so old, your not reading this your watching murder she wrote.
Your so old , there’s fossils at your wedding anniversary.
Your so old , the first airport was the wright brothers.
Your so old, your family tree starts with you.
your so old you bought your first car from Fred Flintstone.
You’re so old, you burp dust.
Your so old, your watch was a sun dial.
Your momma so old, her zip code is 00001
You’re so old your phone number is 7
Your so old, you lived on Asgard. Thor joke